In many violent relationships, some things happen over and over.

First the batterer’s anger begins to build. The woman may try to “make it better”, but nothing works. She worries that she may get hurt.

Soon the batterer explodes with anger. After the violence, both people may feel angry, confused, shocked, tired and hurt.

A “loving” stage often follows. Neither partner wants to believe what happened.

The batterer says he’s sorry. He may cry, send flowers, make promises or beg her not to leave. He may threaten to kill himself (or her ) if she leaves.

Battering Won’t Go Away

Battering usually gets worse with time. the woman must recognize the problem and seek help.

There is help for women suffering from domestic violence.

It’s Hard to Leave

The cycle can make it hard to leave. After the violence, the batterer promises it won’t happen again. But then the cycle begins all over.

There are good parts to the relationship. The couple may have cared about each other for a long time. The woman may keep hoping things will go back to the way they were before.

Leaving can be especially hard when there are children. Or sometimes the woman has no money to support herself.

Getting Help

Women who are abused usually feel sad, alone or even crazy. They may blame themselves. But no one deserves to be battered.

A woman usulayy can’t end the violence on her own. There are places she can go to get help. She and her children can be safe.

Has a Batterer Changed?

Ask these questions:

• Is he jealous ?
• Has he stopped being violent or threatening?
• Has he stopped criticizing?
• Am I still afraid when I’m with him?
• Can he be angry without yelling or hitting?
• Can I express anger toward him without being attacked?
• Can he hear and respect what I say?