Do they do one or more of these things? Then it’s time to get help or get out.
- Wants to get involved fast: Right away he wants you to promise to only be with him. Says, “No one’s ever loved me like you do.”
- Jealous: He wants to make sure you aren’t with anyone else; calls all the time, or shows up without telling you he’s coming.
- Wants you to control you: Wants to know who you talked to and where you were; checks mileage on your car; keeps all the money; makes you ask for his OK to go anywhere or do anything.
- Expects you to be perfect: He expects you to know what he wants and meet his every need.
- Cuts you off from others: Doesn’t want you to see family and friends; won’t let you have a phone or a car; doesn’t want you to work.
- Blames others for problems: If anything goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault–the boss, you. Everyone is out to get him.
- Blames others for his feelings: He says, “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you” or “You make me mad” instead of “I’m mad.
- Gets upset easily: He gets mad about things that are just part of life.
- Hurts animals and children: Kills or punishes animals. Wants children to do things they can’t, or teases them until they cry.
- Uses force during sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; says he finds the idea of rape exciting.
- Says things to hurt you: Always criticizes you or says cruel things; puts you down, curses, calls you ugly names.
- Thinks women should obey men: Wants you to serve, obey and stay at home.
- Sudden changes in mood: Switches from sweet and loving to mad in a few minutes.
- Has hit women before: Says he hit women in the past.
- Says he will hurt you: Says things like “I’ll break your neck, then says” I didn’t really mean it.”
Don’t wait until you get hurt ! Get help or get out.